It doesn't matter what the mirror says, or how young you can "get away with", the true indicator of age is how hard it is to cut one's toenails. The combination of slightly arthritic thumbs and legs that won't quite contort into the optimum position mean I put it off as long as possible. I suspect that Madonna doesn't have this problem. She is still famously contortable and flashes her gristly flange all over the shop. Plus she has a very young man who probably cuts her toenails for her. Perhaps I should change my dating website profile to say
"must be prepared to cut my toenails" but then it sounds like I'm recruiting a carer.
The dating website hasn't been terribly successful since I arrived here, but I maintain a sort of apathetic optimism. Today I have been messaged by a 23 year old in Las Vegas who insists he is visiting my town soon and would I be down to hook up. I think that means sex. And a naked Italian in Rome. That was my second message. My own fault I suppose for looking at his profile, but I wanted to see what that thing was.
I'm not sure either of them would be up to toenail duties, but you never know.
Yup, share this one. Find I grunt a bit when I bend over too - maybe a naked Italian might not mind that bit.
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You think? May have to disguise it as a moan of passion I suppose rather than OOOH ME BACK.
ReplyDeleteI have trouble with some things (mainly being too short to reach top shelves) but perhaps because I am so much nearer the ground I find my nail-clipping to be a simple affair. See, being a shortie has its uses.
ReplyDeleteI think I have joint issues generally. My thumbs are getting really painful and other bits of me periodically give me gip. Apparently cider vinegar is good for joints. I could tell you why if I googled.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain Jane, but strangely only on the right side.
ReplyDeleteProbably laid on that side in the womb or something :o)
ReplyDeleteNow there's a possibility I'd not considered... :)
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