The lady I work for in the mornings has been in Brux roughly the same length of time as me. This morning she told me something I did not know - that it's quite usual to feel depressed two months after moving somewhere new. She's been feeling it and wondered if I had. Aha! So I'm not just a bit mental then, there is a reason why I'm feeling like Eeyore. I guess the initial shine wears off about now, and you've sorted out most of the technical stuff, and you are left with...well not very much. The foundations of a new life with bits sticking out, and a sort of aftertaste of your old one. I'm afraid I've taken to chocolate.
Daim do a big slab of chunkiness that has turned me into a junky, rushing into the kitchen at work to shovel it into my face before various small people can see. It's not clever but it is nice. For various reasons my sense of being a quality person is a bit lacking at the moment. Chocolate is never the answer but it momentarily stops the question.
Tonight I am apparently going to a Disco for Malawi, though as I'm sitting here in only a t-shirt, cardigan and socks some clothes might have to happen before I leave the house. I'm not sure how Malawi feels about our disco-dancing for them, or even if they have been informed.
I should have told you. It happened to me too. The Slough of Despond. (You're not from Slough are you? It shouldn't be a depressing place as they make chocolate there...)
ReplyDeleteI understand the need for chocolate - but if you bought good quality dark chocolate, your sense of self-worth would definitely improve - you may even become quite pious.
Disco dancing for Malawi - is that a Brux invention, I wonder? Hope it helps.
Axx
I should also have said that your comic take on everything and the sense of irony that comes through is fundamentally brilliant - I just love your words and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteAxxx
All my life I've lived within five miles of where I was born (Hammersmith, not Slough) so I had no idea. I'm sure things will perk up soon.
ReplyDeleteI didn't go to the disco in the end, for which the Malawians were probably very grateful. Most of them are still hoping to be adopted by Madonna.
You will hopefully write you way out of feeling depressed. I've been in Turkey 2 months now and I find that writing a blog keeps me focussed on why I moved. I love your blog and have recommended it to lots of friends. You write wonderfully.
ReplyDeleteThank you. The writing does help enormously - both the activity and the shaping of events into something readable. Nearly had little cry when my brother phoned today but I don't want to.
ReplyDeleteI think that you are a very brave lady, Jane, and much to be admired for making such a move. As for there being a market for people of a certain age, not long ago I was with my 44 year old gay cousin when a 19 year old flirted with him. When my cousin asked "Do you know how old I am?" the immediate response was "Not under 40, I hope."
ReplyDeleteI always turn to chocolate, and unlike Belgium, Turkish chocolate is crap, which shows how desperate I am. It helps momentarily, but then when the weight starts piling on, it's even more depressing. This feeling will pass soon I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteChris, I'm not remotely brave. I love that story about your cousin - I suppose we ancient people do have something to offer :o)
ReplyDeleteAyak, I haven't even tried Belgian chocolate yet - it's all imported stuff. Fortunately I'm so active right now that I'm walking most of it off.
I thought chocolate was always the answer. Or is that alcohol? Whatever, you're in the right country for both!
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