Monday, 26 March 2012

Clean and Green

Today was one of those days when you have a rub-down with a baby wipe and hope for the best.  There is a reason for this.  Last night I did something so spack-tastic I set the cause back for women several centuries.

The washing machine in the murdery cellar seems to be permanently engaged so I chucked a few things in the shower and ran it full on.  Put my headphones on, watched a bit of pirate telly.  Being Human.  You can probably guess the rest.  Some pantage got caught in the plughole and when I took off my headphones all I could hear was cascading water.  I don't think I've been that frightened in years. 

The shower room was completely flooded and it was going all through the floor to downstairs.  Two twin and battling thoughts: if it gets in the electrics I'm fucked; if it goes down another floor I've fucked the neighbours.  In a non-literal sense.  Grabbing everything absorbant I swabbed and blotted till the cascade stopped.  All that damp towelling and shit is now in the shower.  So I couldn't really have a shower.  What a complete blonde spack.

The neighbours haven't knocked, so it looks like I got away with it.

The forest this morning was full of trees (Really?  Really?) blurting bits of green.  Tiny green handkerchiefs.  I walked and walked while The Boy slept and thought, as I do most days, about someone.  A man who touched me only once, and that was to say goodbye.  It is as if my body retains the diluted memory of the touch, like a homeopathic tablet.  And like homeopathy, this thought is probably complete, utter bollocks.  It certainly will not effect a cure.  I think of him.  And one cannot help these things.  It will just have to find its way out my head in its own good time.

I am now going to search for a launderette.


  1. No comment, except for LOL. Sorry, but a definite LOL.

  2. You are permitted to LOL. I didn't think I could be that stupid but APPARENTLY YES.

  3. Jane it's really not THAT stupid. Leaving a tap on in the kitchen and being out for 10 hours and flooding kitchen and that's a bit stupid..well I thought so at the time.

  4. I once stayed in an Italian hotel and my shower didn't have tap handles. So I nipped to a bathroom in a room along the hall and did a bit of amateur plumbing, fixed their taps to my shower and had a lovely long shower. Yes the drain was blocked which was why my taps had been confiscated. Explaining that flooded hotel room and flooded dining room below took a lot of intense shoulder shrugging.

  5. Yep, homeopathy is bollocks but YOU ARE NOT!!!X

  6. Thanks FF x

    BtB - that's a marvellous story. Did you put the taps back and pretend it wasn't you?

  7. I tried to say - "Me?? Change taps?? You must be joking." But as my Italian was as basic as their English, we didn't get very far.