I ought to be really happy but I seem to have a safety valve firmly in place.
Last night I got a firm offer of work - twenty hours a week, looking after two children. I'll start as soon as I've caught my breath in January. And I have pending a possible morning job looking after a newborn - after the newborn is - er- born. I'm meeting both families in December, but the first one is assured.
I went through all my other prospectives, like a newly-engaged woman, politely thanking them for their interest but saying I was now committed. I am off the market. I have semtexed my bridges.
And I know it will all be fine. I'm just too cautious to do a Snoopy dance yet.