Friday, 25 May 2012

Telling Myself Off

Right then.  Now then.  First of all, stop being a fucking whinger.  (That's directed at me, not you, lovely reader.)  Yes, we all know you have problems, you and loads of other people.  So you have a funny head, so fucking what.  It's all you have to work with, so work with it.

Today I got a call from an agency that specialises in recruiting staff that have English as a first language.  They do rather like it if you have other languages but are aware that I'm not exactly firing on that cylinder yet.  And so, I go in for a Big Test thing in about ten days.  No guarantee it will lead to work but at least they were encouraging.  (Which another agency was not, sending me a bafflingly-worded, discouraging standard message from a fucking trainee.  A trainee?  I eat trainees for elevenses.)

So, seeing as language seems to be the problem here (and there's me getting 100% in my first French exam in 1973; where did it all go wrong?) I need to take that particular bull by the balls.

1.  Enrol on a language course.  Invest good money in this, it is going to furnish your future.

2.  Stop panicking.  It's taking a while to make sense of what people are saying, but there is a little progress and you are pretty old, so be patient.  The panicking doesn't help.

3.  Go to activities where people actually speak French. 

4.  Study.  Yes, I know.  All I mean is, for thirty minutes each evening do something a bit French.  Kissing doesn't count.  Listen to French news, read the French dictionary (I've always loved reading the dictionary, which I know is slightly odd), do homework for the yet to be enrolled-on French course.

5.  Er...not sure if there is a five.  Just know that you will get there.  It might take a year, but you'll get there.  And then it's in your head forever.

6.  Nothing to do with French but I just wanted to say there was a massive blue and yellow macaw in Square Ambiorix yesterday.


  1. Well, you seem to have given yourself some bloody good advice here, Jane. I think it's worthwhile enrolling on a good language course - but make sure you do 2,3 and 4 as well. You could do just 2,3 and 4 but I think 1 is the thing that will help most. 2 is very good advice indeed although if you are going to do 1, 3 and 4 then you won't need to do 2.
    And then before you know it, you'll be at 5.

    And I suspect you could get through several trainees by breakfast, never mind elevenses! Good luck.

  2. Yeah but what about the macaw?

  3. The macaw is a red herring.

  4. Seems a bit fishy to me...

  5. I think kissing might count actually. Could enable you to learn some words not to be found in the dictionary. :-)

  6. You may have a point there Sue. :o)