Saturday, 4 May 2013

The Drugs Might Work

Now that Spring has made a definite move, and the parks have grown people, and cautious frills of green, it seems churlish not to go along with it.  Some might say sulky, even.  Although one can, with some effort, flip a sulk over on its back.

I'm on this rather old-fashioned anti-depressant which, in the old-fashioned way, takes some weeks and some tweaks to start working.  I can't take the new shiny SSRIs because they don't go with my migraine medication.  A rather unexpected side effect is that this older style medication also seems to inhibit the migraines a bit.  Which can't be bad.

This week, I think, has seen the first signs of light.  Like headlice, depression is indiscriminate.  And like headlice, it is hard to shift and may return at intervals because you are such a great host.  This week was also the first time this year I could fill my lungs properly.  That's unrelated to the head stuff.  It's lung stuff, and will be checked out shortly at the hospital.  There have been four solid months of coughing and not breathing terribly well.  The doctor listened long and silently to my lungs before giving me a phone number.

So that sort of explains my silence: no air and no light.  Nothing can grow like that.

I am not thinking in terms of corners turned, in case the next turn is simply back to base.  I am thinking in terms of cautious greening.  And exuberant fountains at the far end of park vistas.


  1. It's sensible to cautiously move forward. Finding the right anti-d for you is really important. Years ago I had a lot of trials and errors before finding the right one. It helped for a year or so. I came off, but took them again for a few blips over the years. I have been off them for about 10 years now, but I never take anything for granted, and if the signs rear their ugly heads again and I can't cope I will be back on them like a shot.

    I hope you get the chest thing sorted out too...Take care xxx

  2. So good to hear some (cautiously hopeful) news from you. x

  3. I have hoped you were managing, and am so pleased to read you have , maybe, just maybe, started to see a way through.Good luck with this Jane. Jx

  4. Sounds like some steps in the right direction. Definitely needing to sort the breathing out...breathing helps! Keep the caution, hopeful, moving forward going - thinking of you, Axxx

  5. I've wondered how you were getting on over the past few months. Hope the green leaves keep sprouting.