Wednesday, 8 May 2013

According to the Gospels

It comes round so quickly.  Tomorrow is again one of those days when religion collides with the state and we get a day off work to watch Jesus ascend into Heaven.  I'm hoping it's televised.

Given that Easter and the resurrection were a while ago, I wondered what Jesus has been doing with himself.  According to the canonical Gospels (of course I haven't read them, I googled), he did a fair bit of appearing to people, which no doubt scared the shit out of them.  Earlier I was googling "Michael Jackson Sightings" and I imagine it was much the same.

In the Gospel of John, Jesus appears to his disciples randomly in a closed room and he offers the disciple Thomas the opportunity to verify his identity by touching his wounds, it says here.  "Go on touch it, touch it!"  I don't believe you're Jesus at all, says Thomas, thereby getting his nickname.  Jesus grabbed his hand and stuck it in his guts.

Our last scene with Jesus is on the shores of Galilee where he appears, tells the disciples how to catch fish, eats a meal with them, and has a long chat with the Apostle Peter about his future.  "So where do you see yourself in five years, Peter?".  Dunno.  Might open a fish and chip shop.  Jesus tries to get Peter to touch his wounds but Peter says no, he's having his tea right now.

So after forty days of hanging about and fishing and chatting, Jesus realises he's outstayed his welcome and ascends.  And we get a day off.  Thanks Jesus.

1 comment:

  1. Isn't it a lovely story? And so nice to get a day off because of it. ;-)

    (If you do discover it's being televised, please give me the heads up as to which chanel..Ta xx)