Sunday, 16 September 2012

Getting Out

As I write, the tents and elephants and sequins are being packed into pantechnicons and driven away to another town.  The carnival, my dear friends, is over.  I so wanted to end this blog in Hollywood style, but I never even got to show you Gent.  Perhaps I can ask you to imagine that I woke from a dream, and you were there, and you were there, and you were there.

Whatever happens next, well, I'm not sure.  I'm neither sure what happens next nor how to process it.

This has all been so much, much harder than I anticipated.  Yet I look around at the transplanted Euro-seedlings that make up the population of this city and everyone else seems to be ok.  

Time isn't linear, of that I'm certain.  If it were, I would have arrived in Brussels with my grown-up social skills relatively undented by the short journey.  Instead I am the girl of twenty who could barely speak, and who did not think anyone would want to know her.  This is a cruel trick.  I should smack Time's arse for that one.

It will get better, I know.  It has before, and it will again.

If any of you want to keep in touch, my email address is on my profile.  It would be lovely to hear from you.


  1. What?! Are you going? From this blog, or from Brussels, or what?'ve just got a new job, just started seeing the Doctor, just.......why?

  2. I'm just stopping the blog. I'm not actually going anywhere...

  3. We've rejoiced with you and worried with you - good luck for the future. I'll miss your wicked sense of humour.

  4. You have such a wonderful way with words and I too will miss your wildly, wickedly, bizarre sense of humour which has had me laughing out loud many times. There is something I find so familiar about you, your words and what you have shared - a touch of the chords of angry self-doubt and fear of rejection that we all feel, though really I should say, I too feel.
    All the best - I know I never quite found the right words to say but I meant well. I like you. Ax

  5. Thank you. My regular readers on here have been so wonderfully and touchingly supportive. I hope we will stay in touch.

  6. That's what I get for going away to have a think before commenting. Annie took all the good words and put them together so beautifully! I think I was drawn to your blog because you were so brave to just up stakes and go for what you wanted. I so admire that. It is a bit daunting to be given most of what one's heart desires and to wonder why things still aren't any better than they are, but then most of us feel like that no matter what we project.

    Jane, I will miss your highly original "voice". Thank you.

  7. You are a strong woman who feels passionately about life and that is more of a blessing than a curse. I only noticed your blog in January of this year, but tuning in has certainly been worthwhile. Thank you, most sincerely, for the sharing; I know it has not always been easy.

    May the road rise to meet you; may the wind always be at your back and may God always keep you in the hollow of His hand.

  8. Jane, I will miss you very much.....all of the above, from Joan and Annie, BtoB, and from Maud and others I feel I have got to know a little, through you...all that they say mirrors what I feel as you sign out here. You have entertained, thrilled, (worried, from time to time) and delighted us. Good luck with everything. Fondest, fondest wishes, Janice x

  9. And me too..........I've loved hearing of your travails in Bruxelles, getting back in touch with you, laughing at your great humour and admiring your fierce intelligence. I hope things go well for you and that we stay in touch. xx

  10. Brace yourself; it’s a long one…

    I found you quite by accident a few months ago whilst searching the web for info regarding women who had served in the Great War “western front, women” threw up, amongst other things, your blog. I can’t remember which post I read first, but you made me laugh so I kept on reading…

    A few weeks later, after reading a few more posts something starting pricking a little memory tucked away at the back of my mind – I thought I knew you. And one day along came a post that confirmed it - I did!
    A long time ago in (for me at least) another lifetime, we were both members of a strange little Internet ‘community’. We have sat opposite each other at a (for me quite agonising) Christmas meal, and shared a (very much more pleasant) picnic.
    For reasons that are far too complicated to explain, around a year ago I felt the need to break contact with most of the people I’d ‘met’ there, unfortunately the nature of the communication medium we by then shared meant a mass ‘unfriending’ situation was my only option – something I really regretted, but at the time I felt I had no choice.
    I’ve felt for a while that I really should tell you that I knew you in the ‘Real World’, but there is no personal messaging facility here (well, not that I’ve been able to find) and I wasn’t bold enough to just post it here – until now that is.

    Anyway, I am so glad I stumbled upon you again that day. I didn’t know you all that well back in the day, but you always struck me a woman with what my Nan called ‘gumption’, and my God you’ve proved through this blog that you’ve got it in bucket-loads!
    You can have no idea just how much admiration I have for you. I can remember once saying that I thought you were brave in giving up everything to start a new life overseas, you disagreed with me at the time, but I still stand by what I said – you are one of the bravest women I know, I only wish I had a quarter of your courage!

    So, all the best to you Jane, I truly hope you get all you wish for – you deserve it. I shall raise a glass of Pinot Grigio to you tonight.

    Teri xxx

    PS –Although this is the end of your blogging life, please don’t ever stop writing, you’re far too bloody good to ever give that up

  11. Teri! Fuck me with a fluffy duster, you're TERI? hahaha what an amazing bloody coincidence!

    Oh that is just...too much. Thank you so much for letting me know :o)

  12. Yes. ‘Tis I. :-)

    I have a fluffy duster, regrettably it will not reach as far as Belgium, you will therefore have to make your own arrangements.

  13. Oh that is a shame, still I'm sure I can pick something up here. How lovely that you have unveiled yourself. I hope you are well. xx

  14. I am very well thanking you, life has finally returned to something resembling normality - not too normal of course, that would be boring!