I have been quite happily a part of a lovely writing group for more than three years. I had signed up for the fourth Writer's Retreat and was looking forward to it. I thought that these people were friends, and that they were the group of people in Belgium with whom I felt most sympathy. I felt valued and liked. I had never had reason to think otherwise. Every weekly meeting, every event, every social event outside of that, every Writers' Retreat only served to prove that these were my people.
Having registered and paid up for the Retreat this year, I noticed that a message was posted publicly to those who were attending. 'Last year we had the situation that people felt very uncomfortable and also offended by behaviour of members who drank too much.'
My friend S and I had taken boxes of wine to last year's Retreat, to share with others, as we always did. We enjoy a drink and enjoy sharing. I do not remember any offence, or discomfort, or any "behaviour" being mentioned. People had a drink and a laugh and went to bed. S and I probably drank more than others. If this was a problem, the organisers had a year to talk to us about it, and ideally before we paid up for this year. They did not do this.
Apparently, the issue of alcohol has been much discussed since last Retreat. But nothing was communicated to us, apart from the admonition to be "reasonable". I always think I'm reasonable. I think taking some booze and snacks to a four day event for people to share is reasonable. I think letting other people do their own thing is reasonable. I think discussing issues like this before people pay 150 fucking Euros is reasonable.
I responded to the message and was met with what could only be described as a vomit of anger from one of the organisers.
We have not had our money refunded, but I'm working on it.
Whatever happens, this is not a nice way to leave. These are not fond memories.
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