Tessellation

I'm at that stage where I don't know who knows I'm going.  I know that I've upset some people by clumsily getting drunk and posting a link to my blog on Facebook.  I am sorry about that.  But I've never been good at saying goodbye and it's really hard to explain why I want to go.  In truth, I've wanted to leave Brussels for some time. 

I'm sure I've said this before.  I feel like I've said it before: it's like when you are going out with someone and they are nice but you don't love them, and there's not really any reason to break up.  So you just stay together.  Brussels is that boyfriend who you don't really love, but he hasn't done anything to make you want to break up. Which isn't really a good enough reason to stay.

I've met some wonderful people here.   Really lovely, wonderful people.  But as I tried haltingly to explain to one of those lovely people, I just want not to be here.

And now begins a sort of reverse Tetris, where you remove the components of what makes up a life until, on the last day, you are just left with space.  On 31 July, I return to London.  That is the only certainty at the moment. 

Between then and now will be a removal, by small, persistent degrees.