I went back to see my surgeon this morning. I find going to the ORL (ENT in French) department very stressful. Even though I knew I had an appointment, I was convinced I'd been forgotten. Well, I wasn't seen until an hour after my appointment time, so this was entirely possible. Apparently he'd had to fit in some emergencies.
We looked at my scan. Seeing my skull on a screen is always sobering. It's like looking at yourself dead. One side was good, one side not good. I still have blockages all above my right eye. So I have to go back in for an intervention. It's day surgery but not a full on operation that leaves you with bruises on your shoulder (no idea what happened there). He said it's more like a revision. I just want it done. This has been going on for five years. I want sinuses that do what they are supposed to do. I have spent far too much time in hospitals since I've been here.
Work is sucking donkey balls too. I feel like I have been trying to catch up since my hospitalisation in January and it's fucking March now. But the main donkey-ballness is the lack of joined-up thinking and action in the place. I found an email from a year ago when I was still full of righteous anger and energy and wanted to change things and...now I couldn't give a furry fuck. The various parts of the organisation are so disconnected that it's not worth the fur or the fuck. I'm out of energy.
On the plus side, I've found out what to do with my cobwebs. My dear friend T wants them. So I'll be sending them to her along with some used coffee-stirrers for use in her beautiful dioramas.
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