The sheer speed of all this has left me a bit whirred. And weird. Weird and whirred. Apparently it was quite a difficult operation as my sinuses were very sick, and I suspect they did not mean this in the argot of youth. Arriving at the hospital about 9.45am yesterday, I was put in a room for the final admission process, with the one member of staff who spoke no English, so we did it in French. Thus it was discovered that I know enough French to admit myself to hospital. By 10.10am I was on the operating table, and there were bees in my head, for which I tried hard to stay awake. My own disgruntled coughing woke me around midday, followed by the trundle back to the ward. I had requested to be in a two-bed room as that would get fully-refunded on hospital insurance. They had no doubles so it was a single, at no extra charge. (Note: I will be checking this on the bill...)
The intention then was to sleep, but both nostrils were dripping and dripping, so it was hard. Instead I read the trashy but gripping "Child Bride", which purports to be The Truth about the Elvis and Priscilla story. The television, which advertised both BBCs 1 and 2, was not receiving a signal for either. A yoghurt was brought, which I devoured. At about 5.30pm three slices of brown wonderloaf bread were brought, with some limp cheese more like something a plumber might use to stop leaks, and another yoghurt. Again, devoured. I enquired would there be food (you know, actual proper food, for people with teeth) later and the answer was no. I hadn't thought to bring something from home. There is little more desolate than eating three limp slices of bread with limp cheese, and that being it for the night. It felt a bit Jane Eyre. With bloody drips.
Screwing up tissues and putting them up your nose gets you told off. The nurse fashioned a little sanitary napkin from some gauze and taped it round my face. Not attractive, but it allowed me to sleep. Sadly the staff didn't. At midnight and 5am they came to take my blood pressure and check the drip (not the nasal one) and then at 8am woke me with a hearty breakfast of three limp slices of bread, limp cheese, and some jam.
At 10am, loaded down with squirty stuff, and what I assumed to be some decent painkillers but which are paracetamol, I was out. Despite all this whingeing, I could not fault the care received. Nobody made me feel like a pain because I only understand a little Dutch. They were all lovely and very sweet. Unlike St Georges Hospital, Tooting, a couple of years back, when I was left, prepped for an operation and sitting in a gown, no food or water since the day before, in a waiting room from 7am till 3pm (by which point crying because nobody would give any information), and then the operation was cancelled. The surgeon did rather get the rough end of my tongue that day.
I am indebted to dear K, who came to collect me today. I probably could have wobbled home alone as the staff didn't make sure I was collected, but it would have been unwise. Still a bit wobbly now. And drippy.