Tuesday, 24 September 2013

Acid Jazz

I'm not one for fads, mainly because I'm cynical and lazy and fads require energy and mad-eyed optimism.  So I'm not likely to go breatharian on you (not with my fucking asthma); or even fruitarian (although I get through shiploads of bananas).  But I might go the Hay way.

The Hay Diet reminds one of horses, and of Will Hay, a comedian who was monochrome and unfunny.  However, comedy doesn't time-travel well.  Just watch a few old Monty Pythons and you'll see what I mean.  Should the plural of Monty Python have an apostrophe?  I'll leave it like that.

The Hay Diet is currently known as Food Combining, which always seems stupid as it's actually Food Segregating.  You don't eat this with that, and you eat that only with this kind of that.  It's a performance and it means you have to think, which is an awful bore.  But the longest I have ever gone without a migraine - 18 months - was when using this system.  Basically you keep your proteins and starches apart, like Jets and Sharks, and if they meet you can expect a rumble.

You see, nothing is bloody working.  My sense of smell has gone again and the post-nasal drip is back.  It's more like a post-nasal glup really.  It feels gluppy.  So that's making me cough, which encourages the asthma.  And just about anything I eat gives me acid right up the gullet. Which makes me cough, etc.  Even water hurts to swallow.  And then there are the migraines, of course, which are my Moriarty, but without a waterfall.  I'm sick of just warding off the adversaries with steroids, antibiotics, and other charms.

Let's try something that might work at source.  The worst that can happen is a hissy fit about what goes with what and why and when.  Just avoid me in the supermarket.

1 comment:

  1. Poor you - I've never tried the Hay diet as I'm crap at following anything that includes the word "diet" in the title. I notice I feel better if I cut bread out of my diet, but the minute I decide to give up bread, I crave a sandwich or marmite toast. If you get chance to visit a herbalist I'd give it a go. When I turned 50 I stated taking Agnus Castus drops which sorted out all sorts of diminishing hormone problems and made me feel much better. Unlike doctors, the herbalist spent an hour with me on the first consultation and I'm sure just being listened to for that length of time and being allowed to list my many niggling complaints made me feel much better.