Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Dem Bones

Today was the Nose Doctor.  A charming, efficient and kindly man, he shoved an endoscope up my right nostril and then attempted my left.  You have a deviated septum, he said when I screamed.  I remember having an apple thrown at my nose when I was about nine, and suspect this broke it.  Before shoving said endoscope up my nose he said do not be afraid.  I told him I wasn't because I'd had one up my bottom.  You can say these things to doctors.  I didn't say I had one up my bottom during a raging hangover, because that would sound awful.

He then sent me off to Radiology for a CT scan.  It was all a bit Joe 90 with me laying in this thing and it spinning round my head.  Back upstairs with the results.  Nose Doctor and I regard my skull on the screen.  He shakes his head.  This should all be black.  Is it wrong that I was kind of enjoying all this?  At last, there's something visibly not right in my head!  It should be all black and my bones stared mournfully back from grey.  Blocked, infected sinuses.  Possibly polyps. (Hard to know because my head is full of infected snot).

So I have more medications to add to the chart.  I asked whether they would be ok with what I was taking.  Do not be afraid he said.  If the medications don't work, he's going in, apparently.  I suspect he'll straighten the septum on the way in or out, which will be nice.  I thought only Hollywood actresses had "deviated septums".  


  1. Hope they get to the bottom of it all soon - if you know what I mean. I had polyps when I was about 13 and had to have my sinuses cleared out - I think they used pipe cleaners then. I remember the relief of being able to breathe properly afterwards even now. Ax

  2. Pipe cleaners? Seriously?

    I suppose I'll have another CT scan when I go back to see if it's still all blocked. He's a splendid doctor though, and has come with excellent recommdendations, so if he thinks it needs the pipe cleaners I'll be happy to go along with that.

    In the meantime I could open a small branch of Boots with all the medications I have.